Or: To Construct a Symbol
For some context, I am currently in the middle of a 12-week sergeant course in an ordnance engineering institute. So I being an ammunition technician am part of a minority of 9 cadets in a course of 40, the rest of whom are armour maintenance engineers. If anything, we are temporary guests in this side of the army.
The divisions have never been spelt out so clearly in an attempt to design a course shirt. The maintenance side had been clamouring hysterically for a feature of their sacred spanner – their formation symbol and main weapon of choice, in every proposed design. And my ammunition side would veto every design that does not have flames on them – a symbol of our formation. (Imagine Taiwanese parliamentarians in a fist-fight)
So after much fervent and politicised agitation, a consensus was finally reached that any design must feature a sprocket, a spanner (or multiple spanners), a screwdriver, flames and chevrons.
And then cue a flurry of vomit-inducing designs of people eager to win brownie points (this being a very competitively hostile and politicised leadership course where the best cadets get seemingly prestigious awards) who should be barred from ever touching a paintbrush or a design software in their life.
This nauseating state of things impulsed me to step in with a quick design to end the fighting and the hundreds of whatsapp notifications once and for all:
The debut of the designs immediately halted the hysterical fighting but not for long. Some encik comes along hours later, having been afflicted by some severe technologically lag and vetoes everything, proclaiming that any design must have a compass on it to symbolise the moral authority and righteousness of a leader. (I’ve never experienced such tragic irony in my entire life, but oh well).
Acceding to the demands of the encik of course, I conducted a swift re-design to now incorporate a sprocket, chevron wings, a spanner (or multiple spanners), a compass needle (or multiple compass needles) and flames:
At this point of time, it was simply impossible to imagine any further escalation of irrationality or pure 24 carat mental retardation (no offence to retards), when I received this additional order from the encik:
So you want me to also include North, South, East, West, North-West, North-East, South-West, South-East in the design? You may as well ask for all 6400 mils to be included as well, together with a shirt that points North naturally.